Dependant Variable
by Funny Edo Bean
Summary: Gen story about Roy and Ed being kind of nice to each other. Rated for Language. Maybe RoyEd if you squint.


**Wow, this started out as a rape!fic...**

**I don't know, I just can't make Roy a heartless bastard for some reason(even though he kind of is)**

**I just don't have the heart.**

**This isn't your typical RoyEd, because, for one, I do NOT have fun writing lemons. **

**I think it will be one sided for the most part, if that.**

**Definitely Gen at best, and it probably won't turn into anything yaoi.**

**I'll definitely warn you if it does.**

**-Stepha Mustang**

**A Dangerous Void**

**Chapter 1-Of Coffee and Confusion**

It wasn't like he liked the colonel. That wasn't the reason Edward Elric got all emotional with Mustang when arguing. Not at all. Not when the colonel called him a kid did he ever take that personally.

Truth be told, he took it quite personally. That man...he could pile all the responsibilities of an adult on his shoulders, yet at the end of the day, all he had to do was call Ed short to break through that tough skin. Still, because they were both pretty much alone(Ed because Al was in Risembool and Roy because he more often than not had a pistol clearly aimed at his head), Ed sat around on the comfortable leather couch in Mustang's office, occasionally helping with filing, generally just enjoying the colonel's company (though he'd never admit it)

The colonel cleared his throat "You know, Fullmetal, if you're still here, it just means I have to pretend to work longer." He gave his signature Roy-Mustang-Flame-Alchemist-I'm-Superior-To-You smirk. A joke, though due to the name on the files clutched in his gloved hand, this was no laughing matter to him.

Ed rolled his eyes "Do you think I'd be doing this if I had something better to do? Of course not. Al is in Risembool, getting a tune up from Winry. If I go home I'll be alone."

Roy smirked "A...'tune up'... is that what they're calling it these days?"

"Leave my brother out of your perverted jokes, Mustang."

"Fine. You'd rather be in my presence then alone? I'm flattered, Fullmetal."

"Oh shut up. You're certainly more tolerable than..."

"Than what?"

Ed shrugged "The silence. And the guilt. You make those background noises compared to your self-righteous droning, and I'm usually more preoccupied with the temptation to break your nose than to worry about how to fix a hopless cause."

Roy rubbed his nose in mock hurt "Well, glad to know you resist temptation when it comes to me."

Ed grunted and turned away "How long is it you've been working on this case?"

"Nice change of topic, Fullmetal. Truthfully, I don't know. Since we received them, I suppose. Five days at the very least."

"Aren't you..tired?" Ed raised an eyebrow. "This is just a lead to who _might_ have killed Hughes. What if it's a pointless goose chase?"

"Well, I guess we'll find out. And I'll know how it is to be you."  
"Don't compare us." Ed's nose wrinkled "You're still doing this for your own gain. I just haven't figured out what it is yet."

Roy sighed "If peace of mind is your definition of personal gain, then you're right."

"Hm. Sure." Despite his skepticism, Ed felt a lot better, knowing Mustang was a little bit human.

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Roy buried his face in his hands, looking away from the wastebasket filled with useless files. He needed a drink...God, he really did. He went to move his hands from his face, only to hear the door open. He groaned, pressing his face further into his hands. "Go home Hawkeye...it's useless..."

"Hey." A masculine voice snapped in response "I am not a girl."

Roy sighed and brought on his smirk as he moved his hands from his face "Oh, my mistake. You aren't nearly as tall as her either."  
Ed growled "I'll let that one slide, but only because you haven't properly slept in two weeks."

"And all for nothing..." Mustang shook his head.

"Now you know how I feel." Ed flopped on the couch.

Mustang promptly buried his face in his hands again, guilty for having put so much faith in this lead, believing it was really any better than the fake missions he sent his subordinate on. "I don't want to look at another file for the rest of my life.

A hand was over his a moment later, and Roy briefly wondered how Ed could cross the room so quickly. His right hand was being pulled away from his face, positioned to snap. "Then burn them." Ed said quietly.

"Fullmetal..."

"Hm?"  
"Why are you looking at me that way?"

Ed shrugged "I just..can see why they call you the flame alchemist."  
"Are you trying to tell me between the time we met and right now, you've not figured that out?"

"Well, in the...literal sense, yeah. That was obvious. But figuratively...you're more like ice, your behavior towards others...so..." Ed half shrugged, looking away again. "So, it's more like you've seen a lot, like you've kind of gained the wisdom of fire or...whatever..." he sniffed and smirked "Probably cause you're so old."

"Interesting theory, Fullmetal, though the Fuhrer wasn't the least bit poetic or figurative when naming me, I'm afraid." Roy smiled a little to himself. "Not many people analyze things the way you do."

"Colonel, I..."

"Yes?"  
"I'm going to get some coffee." Ed stood all to fast "You still have paperwork to do."  
Roy waved his hand "I'll do it tomorrow."

"If you do it tonight, you can rest tomorrow." Ed pointed out as he walked toward the door. Turning back, he saw Mustang lean back in his chair and sigh.

"If you insist, Fullmetal..."

Ed shrugged "Yeah, I insist. So? You deserve the rest." He began to close the door back when he turned around and smiled "Hughes...Hughes would be honored that you're working so hard to avenge him."

Roy blinked at him and nodded "Thanks. You think so?"  
Ed nodded again "Yep."

Roy watched Ed until the door was almost closed. "Fullmetal?"

Ed opened the door a small portion. "Yeah?"  
"You too."

Ed closed the door behind him, making sure the colonel didn't see him smile.

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Three coffee runs later, the colonel and his major exited the building together. Roy breathed deeply, inhaling the near-morning aroma of dew drops and dirt Central had to offer. He turned back to Ed "So..." He yawned, stretching his arms above his head "When can I expect you to start being the little pain in the ass we all know and love?"

Ed smirked "Never knew you cared so much about my alter-ego."

"God..." Roy snorted "You really ought to stop hanging around me. I think you've caught my sarcasm..."

"Well..." Ed murmured as they walked "Tomorrow I guess. I'll start being a pain in the ass tomorrow."

"But..." Roy yawned again "I'm off work tomorrow."

"Yes, you are..." Ed conceded as they slowed to a stop, Roy reaching to open the gate of a not-too-large brick house. "But now I know where you live."

By the time that statement had sunk in, Roy was already in his house, brushing his teeth. He choked on the toothpastey foam, thinking of the impending doom of an Elric(possibly two) visiting him, at his home, IN his home the following day.

He snickered to himself, falling asleep with the thought _at least I know the good china is safe from breaking or being thrown at me...it's on the top shelf of the cabinet._

On second thought, maybe he'd spend tomorrow _out_ of the house...

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**-A/N: Sorry if that came out a little bit yaoi.**

**Ed:Growls A LITTLE bit? You made me sound like a girl!**

**Roy:Calm down Fullmetal, you could easily pass for one.**

**Me:giggles...**

**Ed:Tackles Roy**

**Me:scoots away as Ed beats living crap out of Roy**

**Sigh... I don't know what I'm doing with this story really. It started of way more...gay than it is now, and I think it might be later on. But I think this was okay, because it didn't cross any lines, no cheesy lurve-makin' so...**

**Gen fans-that is, if your fans of fics with no clear pairings, I think this chapter should work for you.**

**And RoyEd fans, even if there was no smex, it was still cute, right?cricket cricket RIGHT?echoes effin OTP mofos...**

**Be on the lookout for the next chapter.**


End file.
